Well, I wouldn't

An atheist, communist, ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx. “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and accept that Marx was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, greater than Jesus Christ!” At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL stood up, holding a rock. “How old is this rock, professor?” The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.” “Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.” The professor was visibly shaken. He dropped his chalk and stormed out of the classroom. The students applauded and all registered Republican. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. That flag waves until this day, despite the lack of wind in the classroom. Semper Fi.

(Source: spleenbrick)

Via a lack of sweetness



and he’s condescendingly funny

(Source: be4utiful-insecurities)





hippieklaar:

I love this too much rofl.

(Source: daytripperrevolution)



chyeahiwould:

TOO GOOD HAHAHA

yue, so random!

(Source: sausagesfordinner)


Via Ch'yeah, I would.


jakeandamir:

Airplane

best jake and amir in a while


Via Jake And Amir Dot Com


textsfrombennett:

Bennett on the Motherland


tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

computer because i do all my shit on it



domics:

Friend Zone: A barren land where hopes and dreams of intimacy are crushed within the walls of misunderstood companionship.

(Source: domics)


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